It’s time to outgrow hate (Guest Opinion by Ralph Singh)

Ralph Singh, of Elbridge, chairs the Wisdom Thinkers Network and served as the founding president of Gobind Sadan, USA. November marks the 23rd anniversary of the arson attack on Gobind Sadan, USA — the first post-9/11 hate-inspired attack on a place of worship.
It seems we have developed a giant appetite for hate, especially hatred of the “other.” Whether that’s defined by the other side of the tracks, other race or ethnicity, other “side” in politics or a different place of worship, even if it’s a different denomination within our own tradition.
Perhaps it’s time to go on a hate-free diet. Along with other unhealthy habits, it’s time to outgrow hate. Regardless of who wins this election, we’ve managed to sow too many seeds of hatred. Despite the kindness on display in the face of natural disasters, the capacity to hate has become a distinguishing feature of our species.
How can we be truly human as long as hate dominates? I suggest not. While all traditions emphasize “love thy neighbor,” how you define “neighbor” depends largely on who you see as part of “your” community.
And — who is part of your community, believer or not, is largely defined by how “great” you see God. The greater you see God, the more inclusive your community and the more attuned to an ever-expanding Cosmos (and beyond). If only those who look like you, go to your particular place of worship or live in your gated community are part of your community, then we can easily define everyone else as unworthy of our love and respect and ignore their basic needs. Remember the Good Samaritan.
In the Sikh tradition, Guru Nanak traveled throughout the Indian subcontinent, north to the steppes of Russia and as far West as Saudi Arabia, teaching and demonstrating through miracle and logic, that there was only one ever greater God for all creation. Facing the violence and hatred of an incredibly divisive world and competing truths, said, “Everyone is part of my community, I see no one as an ‘other.’ ”
Guru Gobind Singh ji taught: “Recognize all people as one human race. The prayers in your temple are going to the same place as those offered in the mosque.”
These were the core values which were tested, when following 9/11, four kids got drunk and torched our place of worship, Gobind Sadan, USA, north of Syracuse, thinking that our Sikh turbans meant we were followers of bin Laden. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
As if to demonstrate the power of universal love even in the face of hate, our holy scripture, Guru Granth Sahib, not only survived the fire, but triumphed unscathed over the hatred. Not a single word on its 1,430 pages was touched by the tons of water used to extinguish the flames. Even the firefighters exclaimed they had never seen anything like it.
We responded with Baba Virsa Singh ji’s powerful statement of forgiveness that I carried and shared wherever we went. The love it expressed transformed the lives of everyone involved, not just the young arsonists. They wrote to us from jail, “If only we understood what you stood for, we never would have done this.” And it allowed the broader community to come together for positive change. Twenty-plus years later, those involved still speak of it as a pivotal moment in their lives.
Most importantly, we all learned that we can hate the action, without hating the person. And welcome everyone as part of our community, as long as they leave their hatred at the door.
Unfortunately, without a consistent message of love, hate continues to rear its ugly head. We teach our children in school not to allow messages of hate to go unnoticed and unchallenged. We call for upstanders against bullying. But our airwaves and social media are filled with hate.
Throughout history there have been leaders who have used their religion as justification for expansion of their empires, recruiting the young to go to war, destroying and plundering peaceful civilizations in the process. They use their religious schools and pulpits to teach hatred of the others and then breed hatred and violence in society.
No wonder so many have turned away from the man-made silos we call religions. A “religious school” is one that teaches love for everyone.
Jesus taught: Let him without sin cast the first stone. Guru Nanak counseled: Look within and deal with your own weaknesses before criticizing another.
The great modern seer Baba Virsa Singh ji of Gobind Sadan teaches the main message of Sri Guru Granth Sahib: Meditate and develop your love within to control the weaknesses of our minds. Control our anger. And show reverence to see the same Light of God in all creation and show reverence to all those who brought God’s message of love. As Sikhs, students of Truth, we are not limited by any man-made silos masquerading as spiritual truth.
Those who would use religion as their tool of divisiveness and hate should step back and consider whether they themselves are the prime drivers of hatred and violence in the world. And those in positions of power should ask whether they want a community or nation built on hatred or one in which they can bring people together in love.
We can love each other and live in community together without agreeing on all issues. We can hate an action, not agree on issues, but still put aside our hate for each other. As we say in the Sikh world, “keep spiraling upward!”
It’s time we outgrow hatred and learn to live in peace.